Do ever have days when you want to say, "fuck it", and just give up on everything? Those days seem to be happening to me more and more lately. I just don't know how to deal with my emotions anymore. I don't know if I ever did...I haven't felt like doing much of anything lately. I haven't even felt like getting out of bed. Everyday, I feel more and more like I can't do anything, and this makes me want to quit. Of course, I won't quit (or will I?), and I'll continue to plaster a smile on my face for the world to see, when on the inside I feel like screaming. And I'll keep on pushing myself nearly to the breaking point, because slowing down isn't an option. And I'll keep acting happy, and like the expectations on me are no big deal, because it's what everyone else wants.
It doesn't matter that I don't think I can do it, because I have to, and I have to do it well. It doesn't matter that I'm scared, because I have to suck it up and keep pushing forward. It doesn't matter, nothing matters. But did it ever?
Run, run away. Get away from me while you still can.
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