Christmas is right around the corner, and I'm feeling very Grinch-Like. I don't want it to happen... at all. It just seems like a pointless holiday now. Comericialization and Materialism their toll. So this is why I think I need to go on a quest to make the Holidays mean something again. Time to get out the cookie sheet and bake my blahs away. Time to get out the phone book and find a place worth volunteering; time to do something good.

The quarter is about to end. We only have 2 more weeks (actually, a week and a half since finals are the 13th-17th). I still need to figure out what classes I'm taking next quarter. I know I'm taking Abnormal Psych, but other than that, eh.. I'm clueless. I kind of want to take Astronomy. I think that'd be kind of cool. I don't know though. The transfer/degree requirements are kind of confusing and I can only hope I'm getting closer to what I need.

I've been feeling discouraged lately, and as a result, I've been feeling bitter. Sometimes, it feels like everything is so far out of reach; like I'll never get there. I know that eventually I will, but I doubt it will be when I want to. I wanted to have my master's degree by age 25, if you remember, but I don't think that'll happen.

Sidenote: the word degree reminded me of something funny that happened on Thanksgiving. My Grandma asked me if I got married, and I told her "No, grandma, dear. I'm not getting married until after I have my degree." Then she asked me later (and a few times through out the day) when I am getting married. Kind of amusing, but it made me feel quite awkward at the time.

I need some encouragement of some sort. I need someone to tell me they believe in me, and mean it. I feel like no one cares what happens (or doesn't as the case may be) with my education.. and sometimes I feel like people don't care about what happens to me, period.

I know I'm being negative. I know I'm probably being ridiculous. It's just how I feel. And there's really no logic in feelings.

I need to go to Sealth and find Kira. I miss hanging out with her, and I need to give her the next couple books in the Sword of Truth Novels. She really seems to like them.

OK. I seem to have run out of things to say, as I am just starting to be random. I'm going to end this now.

Le Fin.

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